He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Randomize