Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
