she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
