he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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