If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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