I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
