It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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