i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
