You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
