I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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