Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
