hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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