Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
