But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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