apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Randomize
