i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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