I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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