I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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