capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
