mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
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