shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize