I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
