Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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