How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
