Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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