Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
