You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
