i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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