i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize