Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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