left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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