Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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