in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
