i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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