dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He uses pillows to masturbate.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
