Got a toothbrush?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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