Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
