we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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