he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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