better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
