Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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