apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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