did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
