I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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