guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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