when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
