dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize