I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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