my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
