Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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