What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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