Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
