All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
