woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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