and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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