Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize