Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
worst night to have a conscience
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
