dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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