the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
