It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
