my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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