just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
