it's like iHOP with fire
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
