No awkward lesbian experiences without me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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