yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
40s are totally the cure
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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